An Ode to Negativity

ode to tired

I don’t even know where to begin. My heart is tired with what I see in the world today. My brain angered, little things setting me off. In a society of the self-involved, many things infuriate me. I am so tired of manufactured positivity. I am so tired of people telling other people how to live their lives. I am equally frustrated with people not willing to understand others and being so quick to pass judgement.

Those in the medical field and ancillary staff see patients PEOPLE and their families during some of the worst times of their lives. Yet, our job is to understand our patients in all realms of being. To give hope, even foster positivity in a time of need.

Yes, I am a negative person. Perhaps it’s because my compassion and empathy stores are on back order. Being a nurse is hard damn work. Though myself and nurses like me give and give and give, we are looked down upon interpersonally for our perceived negativity. We’re tired. We don’t have the energy to manufacture positivity.

Have you ever wiped an adult’s ass? I have.

Have you ever held pressure on a blood-spurting femoral artery? I have.

Have you ever been physically attacked when merely trying to help your attacker? I have.

Have you ever had to struggle to keep someone alive, only to be looked down upon by another for not getting their cup of ice chips to them in a timely manner? I have.

Have you ever been the last person to hold someone’s hand during their final breaths? I have.

Only because their family was too scared to watch them die? I have.

Have you ever gone to work so burnt out with nothing left to give, only to see someone scared or in pain and somehow muster up something within yourself to make them at peace? I have.

So while you are feverishly typing away at your TPS reports, thinking back upon the last TED Talks you saw, or the last inspirational article you read in Oprah’s magazine…try to UNDERSTAND us negative folk. Perhaps we really aren’t that negative. Perhaps we just understand things on a different level based on our life experiences.

Perhaps we are tired. Tired of manufactured positivity. Tired of in-genuine understanding. And maybe, just maybe, we are just tired of people fighting with other people.

10 Must Have Newborn Essentials

As a first time parent and a so-called practical person, I believed a lot of baby items were simply marketing gimmicks. Okay, maybe paranoid is a better self-descriptor than practical. Do I really need a wipes warmer? Bottle sterilizer? A changing table?


Seriously. I questioned a changing table.


I told my husband I thought we could change the baby on the floor (I remember my parents doing it that way back in the day, or maybe that was a weirdo pregnancy dream?). He flat out told me that was the one item he cared about. “Alright, you can have your changing table,” I thought begrudgingly. Thank God he got his changing table! What the hell was I thinking?! Here are ten “What the Hell was I Thinking when I didn’t Think we Needed These” baby items. AKA, 10 Must Have Newborn Essentials:


10. Rock ‘n Play. It’s mind-boggling to me that something so simple can foster tranquillity for a resting newborn. The incline helps with acid reflux, the contours and vibration simulate being in the womb. Unfortunately Riley learned to escape hers at the tender age of 2 months. But it worked great in the beginning!


9. Baby Swing. I remember in the first-time Mom fog Googling EVERYTHING to get my baby to sleep. I came across the awesome website Precious Little Sleep, that explained the benefits of a baby swing. At that time, I was petrified of taking Riley out in public. I weighed my options, possible sleep with the price of a few car nursing sessions VS no sleep ever again for the rest of my life. So I went with the former, en route to Babies ‘R Us with high maintenance few week-old in tow. I picked up a Fisher Price Snug-a-Bunny Cradle ‘N Swing. I’ll admit, it was pretty sketch hauling that thing in the shopping cart with her in her infant carrier but I did it. When we got home I somehow managed to put it together myself (and not screw it up) while Ryan was at work. The swing was one of the pricier “gimmicks” I purchased and was 100% worth it. Riley loved the thing and was at ease in it.

8. Baby Wearing Wrap. A Boba Wrap is what I had and it was amazing! During her fussiest hours, the only thing that provided some relief was wrapping Riley up and dancing around the house in the Boba Wrap.

7. Humidifier. No doubt about it, your baby WILL get sick. In Riley’s short life, I’ve seen her with nasal congestion more times than I have without it seems. Humidifier. Get one.

6. Swaddle Me. You should have seen Riley in my first attempt at swaddling. She looked like me after a heavy night of drinking, curled up with a towel on a floor somewhere. Not cute. The Swaddle Me made it so easy to swaddle and the wiggle worm couldn’t break free from it.

5. Diaper Genie. This one I thought was a huge gimmick. It’s basically an over-size Litter Locker for babies. (Ok. So I’m all for gimmick pet products, just not baby stuff…as evidenced by me referencing a Litter Locker. Whoops, secret’s out).

4. Co-Sleeper and/or Pack ‘n Play. The only place Riley would sleep for a few months. See here.

3. Mittens. No, we are not preparing for Arctic Blast 2000-whatever…baby mittens folks. They aren’t for show! Those little nuggets are born with razor-sharp talons and will claw the shit out of everything. Oddly, these razor-sharp talons are impossible to trim. Do yourself a favor and invest in some baby mittens.

2. Baby bath. Another “what was I thinking moment?”… I seriously thought I could bathe Riley in the sink. Like, without anything in it. HAHAHHAHAHAHA! Newborns need head support, they don’t like cold things pressed up against them and they get to a point where they squirm. I ended up NOT getting a baby bath but bought this instead: a Blooming Bath. It worked wonderfully. My only complaint is that it was very hard to dry completely.




Netflix! Momma’s gotta cope. Some of my fondest moments of maternity leave were of Ryan and I going through the whole series of Breaking Bad during the evenings, while I sipped on a single White Russian. I have no idea why my drink of choice after being preggo was a White Russian, but hey, it worked! During the day when Riley was hooked to the boob, having a marathon of House of Cards or Scandal really helped me get through feeling like my only purpose in life was to be milked. Thank you Netflix, for letting me feel human again!


So there you have it, my Top 10 Must Have Newborn Essentials!